MARRIAGE POLICY AND PROCEDURES

The Church sees marriage in one's own parish as the most proper arrangement, therefore, people who reside in St. Catharine -St. Margaret Parish and are registered parishioners or whose parents are registered parishioners have a right to be
married here.

Others should seek the sacrament in their own parishes.

Therefore we accept only registered parishioners or the sons and daughters of registered parishioners for marriages here.

You must be a registered parishioner for at least one year before a marriage can be approved in our parish.

You must notify the pastor approximately one year in advance of your intended wedding date. Since the wedding celebration takes place within our faith
community, we ask that you observe our local liturgical customs and practices. Our pastor serves as the liturgist for the ceremony. Couples, their families and any visiting priests are expected to abide by all of our guidelines and customs, without exception.

Before a wedding date can be confirmed, there are several things to be done in preparation for your marriage. We require that you:

Return the enclosed Request for Marriage Form
completed in full.
Complete a self-diagnostic instrument (FOCCUS) that is designed to help couples learn more about themselves and their unique relationship.
Send in your deposit to reserve your date and time.

When your wedding date is confirmed, our Wedding Coordinator will notify you in writing of the approved date and time, the time of your rehearsal, as well as confirm receipt of your deposit.

Until we have received confirmation of l, 2, and 3 above your church reservation remains tentative. Tentative reservations that are not finalized within three months are automatically cancelled.

The next required steps include:

Attend a Pre-Cana Session or an Engaged Encounter Weekend.
Provide the necessary sacramental certificates for both the bride and groom from the Churches where these sacraments were received.
Meet with a parish priest for a pre-nuptial interview
Meet with our Director of Music or attend a Wedding Music Seminar.

Part 1. PREPARATION

FOCCUS
A wedding is a day -a marriage is a lifetime.
To help you prepare to receive this sacrament, we
require that you complete a self-diagnostic instrument designed to help couples learn more about themselves and their unique relationship.

As part of your marriage preparation, we require
that you to complete a self -diagnostic instrument
designed to help couples learn more about themselves and their unique relationship. This inventory, called FOCCUS, can be completed in 45 to 60 minutes. Please call 449-5765, ext. 110 to set an appointment with one of our Deacons or priests. The groups meet /appointments are offered on Saturdays from 9:30 AM until 12 noon.

Your FOCCUS questionnaire is scanned by a
computer, the results are forwarded to Catholic Charities in Red Bank. A member of the Catholic Charities marriage preparation team will contact you to set an appointment to meet with and discuss the results of your inventory .These results are confidential and will be seen ONLY by the counselor. In most cases two appointments
will suffice; however, if additional sessions are warranted, the counselor will discuss this matter with you.

The cost for two sessions with the counselor is
$180, payable to Catholic Charities. If this fee is a
problem, a sliding scale, based on your combined annual income, can be applied.

Please understand that the purpose of FOCCUS is
to facilitate open and honest communication between a couple preparing for marriage. It underscores the
seriousness of the lifelong commitment you are about to make.

Please call for an appointment to begin the FOCCUS process.

PRE-CANA/ENGAGED ENCOUNTER

To better prepare you for marriage, the Diocese of Trenton and its parishes, through the Office of Family Life, provide you the option of choosing a form of instruction best suited to your needs. This policy for Marriage preparation applies, without exception, to all couples preparing for marriage.

However, you do have a choice as to which type of instruction. Pre-Cana should be arranged as soon as possible, but no later than six months before the wedding date.

When your wedding date is confirmed, you will receive a schedule of Pre-Cana conferences. Schedule this as soon as you can, they get booked very quickly. Msgr. Luebking suggests an Engaged Encounter because it gives you a better chance to communicate with each other. Be sure to keep the "Marriage in the Lord" book you receive at your Pre-Cana or Engaged Encounter because it is helpful in preparing for your wedding. It is best if Pre-Cana has been completed before the next step, an interview with a parish priest takes place.

Part 2 PAPERWORK

1. PROVIDE the necessary DOCUMENTS
Before the time of your appointment with the parish priest:

Sacramental records from the church where celebrated.
Pre-Cana or Engaged Encounter certificate issued by the Office of Family Life.
Death certificate in the case where a previous marriage was ended in the death of a spouse.
Declaration of Nullity in the case where a previous marriage was annulled.
A RECENTLY DATED COPY (within 6 months) of your Baptism is required.

At the rehearsal

Blood tests and Marriage license. (Please bring these with you to the rehearsal.)
Fees and offerings if not already submitted.

Required CHURCH DOCUMENTS
For the Catholic Party

A recent Baptismal, a Holy Communion and Confirmation Certificate (issued within six months of wedding date)
Under age 21: The permission of the parents or guardians is required for marriage. In the event of parental objection to the marriage, this fact should be discussed with the priest.
If there has been a previous marriage. proof of dissolution of the bond is required i.e., Death Certificate or a Decree of Nullity. This documentation must be submitted prior to
scheduling a date.
Testimony that the party is free to marry.

For the Non-Catholic Party

Baptismal Certificate. Note: When documentary proof is not available, affidavits of parents are acceptable.
Under age 21: Same as the Catholic Party -see above.
Testimony that the party is free to marry.

Required CIVIL DOCUMENTS:
Marriage License
-To be married in the State of New Jersey, a license must be obtained in the municipality where the woman resides, or in the municipality in which the man resides, if the woman is a non-resident of the state. If both reside out of state, they must make application at the Spring Lake Municipal Offices. After application there is a three-day waiting period before the license is issued. Both participants must apply for the license, accompanied by two witnesses over 18 years of age who can testify to the freedom of each to marry, that both live at the addresses given, etc. Once granted, the license is good for thirty (30} days. Please call your local municipality to make certain you are following the proper procedure.

Blood Tests -inquire at the Municipality regarding this.

2. APPOINTMENT with a parish priest for Marriage paperwork
    Preparations for the actual wedding ceremony are made by the couple in consultation with the priest in accordance with the Rites of the Church. Our wedding coordinator will contact you at an appropriate time before your wedding to arrange an appointment with a parish priest to begin the official paperwork for your marriage.
    If you have a family friend or relative you wish to marry you, this appointment with the parish priest is still required.
    Please have the name, address and phone numbers of your witnesses at this appointment.

Witnesses
The best man and maid of honor may be Catholic or Non-Catholic. They must be 18 years of age. Delegation
If a relative or family friend will marry you, they must seek delegation from the pastor, in writing, once your wedding has been approved. This is a Church requirement, since the pastor is the only lawful person to perform your marriage.

Part 3 The CEREMONY

MARRIAGE.
Eucharistic Liturgy
(Nuptial Mass)
We strongly encourage that all weddings where both the bride and groom are practicing Catholics take place during the Nuptial Mass. The couple will plan this liturgy with the priest who is delegated to witness the wedding.

Non-Eucharistic Liturgy (Ceremony)
A marriage between a Catholic and a baptized person who is not a Catholic, is to take place during a Wedding Ceremony outside Mass. However, if suitable, and with the permission of the Bishop, the rite for celebrating marriage within Mass may be used. According to the general Church law, Communion is not given to the Non-Catholic. (Rite of Marriage Introduction #8)
A marriage between a Catholic and non-baptized person may only take place in a Non-Eucharistic liturgy (ceremony).

REHEARSAL
     The date and time of the rehearsal is set by the Wedding Coordinator. The usual times for a rehearsal are Thursdays or Fridays at 6:45 PM and 7:30 PM.
     All members of the wedding party are asked to be present and on time. No music is allowed at the rehearsal.
     The marriage license, rings, offerings and other items for the wedding are to be given to the priest or sacristan at the rehearsal. The rehearsals are scheduled to go over the ceremony and iron out any potential problems.
     We ask for your respect and attentiveness while you are in Church. Frequently, there is more than one rehearsal and or liturgy scheduled for these times, it is important that all required members be on time.
     All are encouraged to receive the Sacrament of Reconciliation prior to the rehearsal. Please let your celebrant know if you wish to arrange for this at the rehearsal.

MUSIC
Our Parish Music Ministry Team offers a wonderful program of organists, cantors, vocalists and instrumentalists that are qualified musicians and. are familiar with and follow the guidelines of the Catholic Church for weddings.

All musicians and the primary vocalist must be from our Parish Music Ministry Team.
     We offer a quarterly Wedding Music Seminar to acquaint you with the music choices and suggestions that will assist you in planning the music for your wedding. At this seminar, our music ministers present selections that have been popular and are suitable for weddings in our Church.
     If the couple is unable to attend a Wedding Music Seminar, an appointment should be made with Sr. Mary Ann O'Connor, Director of Music BEFORE any plans for music are made.
     Fees are to be paid and given to Sr. Mary Ann O'Connor at least three weeks before the wedding date.

PHOTOGRAPHERS & VIDEOGRAPHERS
     Are to meet with the sacristan in the sacristy 30 minutes before the beginning of the ceremony to go over the guidelines for photography during the ceremony.
     In order that we might protect the integrity of the ceremony and respect the Church as a holy place, we ask that the photographers and videographers refrain from using any extra lighting, flood lights or flashes while in the Church building.
     Photographers are not allowed in the sanctuary or in any area in the Church to block the view of the congregation.
     Posed photos after the ceremony in the church are not allowed.

FLOWERS AND DECORATIONS
     Flowers are the responsibility of the couple with final approval by the officiating priest. If you plan to use bows on the pews, please be aware that tape, adhesives and/or tacks are not- permitted. Clamps, ribbons or rubber bands are a good substitute. Only real flowers are to be used.
     We can give you the names of the other brides being married in the Church on the same day if you wish to share the cost of flowers. When this is the case, the flowers are left on the altar for the weekend.
     If you do not wish to share the cost of flowers, the flowers are to be removed immediately following the ceremony.

CHURCH ENVIRONMENT
The Church is air-conditioned.
There are 16 pews on each side of the center aisle.
The Church comfortably seats 300 people.
Runners are not permitted in our church since it is carpeted. Our insurance carrier has requested that runners not be permitted in carpeted churches.

Note: For safety and insurance purposes, rice, confetti, balloons, rose petals etc. may not be thrown or used on the church grounds. A clean-up fee of $50 will be charged if any of these items are used.

Part 4 THE OFFERINGS
The offering for St. Catharine or St. Margaret Church is to be forwarded to the Wedding Coordinator with the Marriage Registration Form.
The Church offering is used for the upkeep and continued restoration of our Churches. The Church fee varies when the couple uses envelopes {$250) from those who do not use envelopes ($300) All couples must be a Late Fee of $200. Church fees are deposited in our Church Restoration Fund that is used to restore and maintain our Churches.

If the wedding party is on time and processes down the aisle within 10 minutes of the scheduled time, and all policies and procedures have been satisfied, you may request a refund of the Late Fee. The late fee is not automatically refunded. You must call the Rectory after the wedding to make this request.

The Church offering is for the church, not the presider. If you wish to give the priest a gift, that is your option -nothing is required.

Music Fees
All music fees must be paid at least three weeks before the wedding date. These fees will include the organist, vocalist and any other musicians requested.

There will be an altar server assisting at your ceremony. We ask that you give the altar server a donation of $10-$20 at the time of the wedding. You may also give the altar server donation to the sacristan at the time of the rehearsal.

Note: If the information given to the Wedding Coordinator changes in any way prior to the scheduled date of your wedding, re:phone numbers, addresses, etc. please contact the Wedding Coordinator with the corrections. Call the office at 449- 5765 ext.110.